#also theres my voice woe

[drchucktingle]

misguided protectors of the trot

some unique ways are so overwhelmed by tales of woe that if you are joyful in your trot buds appear and say 'you cant exist you must be a parody'. it is amazing how hard it is for neurotypical cis straight buds to accept someone could just joyfully be queer and autistic

entire writing career has obviously had pushback from conservative devils but a few leftwing buds trying to police voices for special online points is always so eyerolling. 'chuck is homophobic a book about queer joy MUST be parody' 'chuck is ableist hes too aware to be autistic'

these scoundrels say ‘wait this is not dramatic tragedy about gay men overcoming discrimination? THEN IT IS NOT REAL QUEER ART’ or ‘wait your story about autism is not about how it was SO HARD but you finally made it when a neurotypical bud took you under their wing? FAKE STORY'

i am betting some who do this (sometimes literally to chuck over the years) will read this and say ‘well thats not me.’ and i have to say… ‘BUD IT IS YOU’. it might not be as obvious and you may think theres more nuance but THIS is the thought process just below surface

so what is point? point is: to all my well meaning leftwing buds, your love and care is appreciated but you do not need to police communities you are not in. support all you want but SUPPORT and POLICING are very different things. gatekeeping is not your job

second. work to accept that your buds CAN MAKE JOYFUL ART. they can also make STRANGE, SILLY, FRIGHTENING, SICKENING, PLAYFUL, or PUNK ROCK art. theres no one APPROVED way to express these perspectives, and if you are outside this community it is not your job to keep the gate

as time goes on and buds realize what i am doing with my creations these bad takes get rarer and rarer. i am DOIN VERY GOOD. my post is mostly out of concern for young buckaroo artists without a big following, who want to build something unexpected and strange and bold

let queer buckaroos write stories with happy endings OR terrible endings that make you squirm. let autistic buckaroos paint with joy and complexity or deep sadness and minimalism.  the way these voices get tokenized is by insisting they need to have ONE SPECIFIC WAY

proving love is accepting that we all have our own unique trot, even you. ESPECIALLY YOU. get out there and create YOUR THING buckaroo. thank you for reading buds. LOVE IS REAL

[coldslaws-gear-station]

I wanna know what happened after Alder caught up with bn in that one comic, I remember being really confused why it wasn't continued till I saw the pole from ages ago

Also yeah, roaches suck ass. Hate spring and summer cuz of them they scare the shit outta me

- 💌

scared of roaches gang ❤️ im lowkey so infuriated rn because i was legit about to turn over and go to sleep but i caught this one out of the corner of my eye and then it fell on my bed. so im definitely awake now

anyways woes aside. i still actually want to finish that comic and did make a bit of progress on it beyond whats been posted. problem is i don't have much motivation to finish the dream characters info (nero and gio jr) either because the person who i was developing them with left the fandom, and it sorta spurred me into losing interest in them except for penny. so im in this weird limbo zone of like "aughh i wanna finish the bau comic" "but i should finish the dream kids' info before i do that" "but i don't wanna work on them" if that makes sense u_u

but besides that, here are two unposted pages (theres an unfinished 3rd, but it's in too much of a messy state for me to post it without being embarrassed LMAO)

and then spoilers for the rest below

alder attempts to negotiate with n, but n just keeps refusing. alder knows he slipped up here in even mentioning prison, probably making n's stubborn refusal to cooperate even worse right now. he's just exhausted and frustrated, and admittedly, n has been one of the most difficult people he's ever worked with. he's given everything he can manage to try and help this man- he took hydreigon's blast to save his life, he's given him shelter and food, an opportunity at freedom, and n absolutely will not let his guard down even an inch. so alder is at his wits end.

"Natural... If you want to get off of house arrest, you have to stay here for two years. After that, you can just... lie to everyone, tell them you're better now. Then run off to wherever it is you wanna be so badly. I've given you as much freedom as I'm legally allowed, and still, it's just not enough for you."

Alder continues. "You can still come back in and go to bed. I'll do whatever I can to keep this infraction off your record, and we'll keep trying to figure out how to make this transition easier for you- but you need to be open with us. You can't be angry at a world that never wronged you. The only one to blame is Ghetsis."

N struggles to find words for most of Alder's rebuking, but at the mention of Ghetsis, of course, he snaps. "Do-- do you think it was only Ghetsis who hurt me? Do you think Ghetsis is the only human who I've seen cause pain? That man isn't even my real father- I-- I was born to a village that cast me out! Left me to starve- wanted me to die so I couldn't curse them with my presence!" This is the most N has even spoken to Alder his entire stay. He's out of breath. "And even once I was able to leave the castle-- everywhere I went, I heard- heard stories of humans mistreating each other, mistreating others. Constantly. Everyone turns at some point. Do you expect me to stay around you, just waiting for the day you show your true colors? Waiting for you to use me?"

Alder falters a bit. His heart hurts, his anger wanes. But he did what he intended to do; he got N distracted.

"S-so I have to run. I need to escape from you people before it.. it's too.. late." N's voice tapers into a breathless whisper as he bumps into something behind him. They realize what just happened immediately, but they dont get time to react- they're restrained by a move from venomoth, which then uses sleep powder on them as they thrash and scream at Alder. N crumples to the ground after just a moment, and Alder trudges over to collect them.

Alder knows it was a dirty move. It was just a last resort to keep the man from tearing off further into the woods and causing even more of a disaster for both of them. "I'm sorry, son. Just.. rest, okay." He whispers. "I'm not going to let anyone else hurt you. You have my word." N probably doesn't even hear it, they're out like a light within moments. But Alder could see plain on N's face, as he rapidly faded from consciousness, the look of a man that is terrified and trapped and desperate, utterly hurt to his core. And his will to keep working with N is renewed.

N wakes up at home, finding themself uninjured and tucked into bed rather than waking up on a prison floor, much to their surprise. Alder's kept this whole thing under wraps, like he said he would try to. They have one more chance.

[cxffexngel]

[ @aaetherius ] A small starter just because.

It isn't exactly an easy thing. To re-tell long lost tales and woes of the dephs of his memory that Sandalphon simply cannot rid of even in those days where he tries pushing those memories down with the strongest hand he can. No. It still somehow comes back one way or another.

And yet, even as millennia have passed both so slow and also in the blink of an eye; after going through hell and back, catastrophe after catastrophe and still somehow coming back with his body more battered than the last, he still continues to live. Amidst grief and pain and sadness and much deeper feelings he can now mame but still can feel like deeply sunk thorns that are there to stay forever, he still lives on, and for once in his life he has a way to deal with it. For better or worse. He doesn’t know, but such uncertainty doesn’t scare him anymore as it used to. Not when surrounded by many bonds, some that forced their way through flames and thick ice that covered his withered heart that only now has let itself try and accept this new warmth that the current supreme primarch has been given the chance to taste.

Honestly, he still has days where seeing Lucifer feels like a sick joke from the depths of his mind, a long dream of things he doesn't deserve dangling infront him and believing every single of said miracles while also waiting for the knife to rip him apart from this paradise in the most painful way anytime. Yet it still never happens, and its been years, or more - Sometimes telling time apart even when living within the intricate thing that makes up for the fresh, old wood of the Grancypher’s walls is both easy and also difficult. Easy when needing to tend the cafe or clean and stock supplies, help in some missions Gran asks him for or he is the one to voluntarily step in. Even then, there's still times he loses track of time - holidays pass, enjoying them with Lucifer or the crew before crashing back in his shared room with the other and almost hibernating like those creatures from islands that exist in thick winters and spend many moons in slumber. It’s only because Lucifer and the others that he hasn’t been locked in his room unlike in the past when he had first arrived.

Not that he minds. It’s been a rather hard, but pleasant existence that he is determined to keep. Still too good to be true in his tattered heart but stubborn enough to fight for it, should it come down to even claw his way out the deepest pits of pandemonium once more. ( But at this point this being impossible with it’s existence having been destroyed a while ago. )

“ I…. I think I can tell you. “ His voice is solemn, a bit detatched even. But theres a small, timid and tired smile that Sandalphon still manages to manifest as he sits by the now much more comfortable bed that the angel shares with the other. A much needed upgrade ever since sharing rooms and having to make up for the rather hilarious mess of limbs sometimes it means to have multiple wings fitting and tangling between one another into a mass of feathers. Devoid of his armor and even heels, only comfortable pajama pants with fluffy fabric that the other had got for the other, and his signature skin tight black suit with exposed arms and shoulders. A bit relaxed despise how his voice lets out things he had never spoken nor even let himself try and actually think about for so, so very ling. “ About the scars. The ones on my back specifically. “

A part of him still doesn't want to. Not because he doesn't want lucifer to know. Oh he wants him to know entirely because the other had once, and just once said how he wanted to share the burden, to know and truly see the truth as what it was and have Sandalphon's side of what happened in the past, after many of their meetings slowly becoming strained on Sandalphon’s side along Lucifer’s less frequent visits because it was foolish to pretend that nothing happened. Or that at least the air had shifted in some way - that the light in Sandalphon eyes at some point had faded almost completely if not for the fact Lucifer would grace his existence finally after long, gruesome time he really wishes he could forget how long they took. No - a part of him still hesitates because he can feel the other will hurt. Feel maybe powerless when it’s obvious the former primarch obviously didn’t have any power in what was done in the labs. No one really had but the astrals and researchers themselves honestly. But still. Especially because he knows, those heavy ‘what if I had done this’ are hard to ignore as he’s also weighted by many of those, but at the end, Lucifer deserves to know, however it takes him to unravel this tight knot that firmly presses at his core like a parasite that wont be gone even if miraculously someone finds the cure to millennia long of inhumane experiences that not even primal beasts with the curse and blessing of sentience should have ever been subjected to. “ I hope it’s… Not too sudden, honestly. It can wait. “ It was his way to let Lucifer have a choice as well. His gaze is on his hands that rest on his lap, kneading lightly in the fluffy fabric of the pants he dons while fair, wild locks of brown lick at his temple and nose as Sandalphon doesn’t meet Lucifer’s eyes, his back exposed through the window of his suit where it’d let otherwise twelve brilliant wings sprout any other day, or simply his own two aurburn ones in more casual days.

[disabled-stuck]

HI ITS ME CHRONIC PAIN ANON BACK AGAIN... here's my thoughts on who of the human cast is Aware That They Have Chronic Pain Issues. srry ppl were discussing and im like, Wow, Time For Me In Hc Central

june's issues start to really develop and get bad post-game (in my headcanons), so for a long period of time she literally has no one to talk to about it bc she's self-isolating. she eventually tells nannasprite about it when nanna is guilt-tripping her into getting up (nanna voice: Whatever works, hoohoo!), and nanna is like. this is my only granddaughter. i will do whatever i can for her. (i love june & nanna's dynamic. could u tell.) jasprose also is like GIRL!!! You Are In Pain!!! nanna & jasprose team up of the century to get june egbert to Acknowledge Her Problems

dave NO clue NO idea WILL not talk about it. maybe EVENTUALLY tells karkat about it but i don't think she ever seeks out a diagnosis or tries to get one. hes got old ingrained trauma about seeing doctors, which is something he's trying to get over, but like, he already has 4 bajillion other things to unpack about his childhood and healthcare systems are not historically good about chronic pain, a dismissal of their symptoms might set them back in that regard. they're just homebrewing this shit for now.

rose: yeah, she knows. she doesn't talk about it in those terms, though. instead of saying "i have a horrible migraine and cannot get out of bed" she tells kanaya to text the gc that she's afflicted by the Broodfester Woes and cannot join them this evening. theyve sort of picked up by now what that means but she thinks it's funnier this way.

jade: HMMM. i think she put herself through her denial paces but actually i think going grimbark essentially caused her to not feel her chronic pain (a side effect of condy's semi-control over her body), and when she got shunted back into her body she had to face the reality where she DIDNT hurt all the time like wow thats how ppl normally feel? what the fuck????

jane: oh absolutely fucking not does not know. unlike jade, his pain got WORSE during crockertier. yet it still takes literally two decades for him to finally acknowledge that his stuff is NOT normal and the fact that her whole friend group has chronic pain doesn't help, which kind of sucks. jane voice: well sometimes i can get out of bed when i have a headache and rose can't, so clearly its not the same (as if jane doesn't force himself out of bed even when he really shouldnt!!!). roxy has to be the one to tell him.

roxy: yeah she knows it's chronic pain. she's been worried about getting cirrhosis for years, and so has been keeping up to date on her physical health as a result. she figured it out pretty quickly after a couple flareups. trickster mode made it worse for her.

dirk: hal has been telling him for YEARRRRRRRRS that his carpal tunnel is just that, carpal tunnel. and yet. AR: Dirk, if you do not take better care of yourself, you are never going to be capable of building me a body of my own. TT: 1. I'm fine. 2. I'm not building you a body anyways, so the point is moot. anyways he accepts it during the game bc he's like you know what. might as well admit it to myself. good thing, too, because it only gets worse after a couple decapitations.

jake: has pretty much always known, deep down, but like. she lives on an ISLAND. the hell is he going to do about it? no, better not to think about it. someday they'll be able to deal with it, but that day isn't today, and theres so much to do. so he represses it DEEPLY. normal action hero jake english doesn't have chronic pain, of course. she's a heroic manly lead, after all... (the deconstruction of that mindset sort of makes them acknowledge it, though.)

ANYWAYS I JUST RAMBLED AT YOU FOR A COUPLE HUNDRED WORDS HOPE U HAVE, A GOOD DAY/NIGHT/WHAT EVER

YYAYYY no you're so good nonnie thank u forever and ever

[boy-above]

gender introspection under the cut

me accepting/realizing that i don't want to look human really has changed the way i approach my body image and my gender fuckery. for so long i couldn't picture what i actually wanted to look like, so i couldn't have transition goals and it lead me to questioning if i was even really trans or not because i couldn't imagine myself as someone traditionally masculine in appearance, but the thing is that i also couldn't picture myself as someone Feminine either, like there was no "ideal me" i could form in my head and it was confusing, and it look be quite a while to realize it was because i was picturing Humans and i just. don't want to look human. it's made me more accepting of my own body in a way as weird as that sounds because it's literally impossible for me to ever be happy with my body, and that impossibility actually makes it less upsetting in a way because i know now that there's nothing i could be doing differently, if that makes sense? i want something that's literally unobtainable, so i guess there's a weird comfort in knowing that even if i'd been born conventionally attractive i Still may have never been happy with myself, so there's less "woe is me" attitude there now? even if i had been born a boy i still would have had dysphoria i think.

i'm sure there's probably ppl who would say that's a severe mental illness and i should get therapy and idk maybe they're right but a lot of people go through life not liking how they look so i feel like it shouldn't make a difference what the Reason i don't like what i look like is lmao.

i think perhaps this realization may have saved me from potentially doing stuff to myself that wouldn't have helped me transition wise. i still wish i had a dick and hope someday i can get top surgery and change my name, but there's other gender stuff i might have ended up doing that i might have regretted, stuff i may have felt compelled to do because it's just what you're "supposed" to do / what other people would have expected from me (going on testosterone is the biggest one) and now i know it wouldn't actually help me and probably would have made things worse and i would have regretted it. i still do wish i had a deeper voice, and i don't really like my voice as it is, but i think there could have been a chance i would have regretted it if i'd gone on T. and it kinda sucks that there's a not so small amount of people who would be angry about that and say i'm not really trans, but i gotta tell myself i can't be worried about what other people would say and focus on my own happiness. also even putting that aside the fact that theres ppl who would still argue i'm not trans even tho i literally want an entire cock and balls is really funny lol

i guess it's also why i decided i'm not entirely sure i can call myself a trans man, like it's not entirely inaccurate like i've said before but i think more than anything i'm a boy, and men and boys are different because i said so. a genderless boy. or an anime boy. an anime boy is a different gender from a human man in my opinion. boy is its own gender, i said so and im an expert.

anyway yeah i started thinking abt my gender again bc i thought about how much gender envy these little angel babies in nikki give me. like i wanna look like this so bad. i hope you all imagine this when you think of me

[miamoo27]

I am burnt out. I get excited to go to work now because I have a crush on my co worker who has a gf. He asks me to smoke with him and when we do, its fun, friendly but theres this tension. Im not sure its because we are the opposite sex or because there is something there. The left part of my brain is telling me to not event think of that since he has a girlfriend. Someone else has a 100 percent crush on me at work and they are a "christian" a deep devoted one. I do not like them like that. They are nice but there issues with religion is insane. Speaking of religion my mother bases her life off patriarchial POV in some sick tradition italian way (sorry to my ancestors). Her whole world view is her families. I suggested maybe it is time to move past that if its not working. I told her to switch her perpective look at all the things you did as a woman that you were told you couldnt. I wish she could see that. She also has an eating disorder which she isnt aware of. My father is now concerned which makes me equally concerned because if he is then there is definetly a problem. He finally saw its a psychological issue with her not eating. We went out and she ate none of her fish. She inspires to be skinny. Gets mad for eating pasta. Wears my pants because hers are too big. Sometimes being around her makes me feel fat because she never eats and all i do is eat. But during the day I barely want food I wish there was a pill to stop me from exhaustion and burn out. I said many times the past two days "I am having a mental break down." I wanted to throw up after the meeting at work. I smoked with Adam I felt better but stilll felt panic from the unease I felt since sunday nigt. I have my period it sucks. I havent had sex in two months, it sucks. I cried on my floor because my mom or me potentially lost my adderal. My dad displined me about getting my own pills, I hate him but hes right so I apologized and let him raise his voice which I rarely do but I know I have too much on my plate. My cousin is a drug addict. Hylan. I had to add that in because wow. My aunt amy is a narcist too smart for her own fucking good can read people like a book. Everyone is lucky that I always have good intentions and like to see the best in people or I would be like her. Ivana at work is on aderall constantly more than me and speaks a mile a minute and has the energy of a coke addict. Holly is a strong queen I dont know how she does it and a amazing teacher. I try and see the best in people I do but when this girl Sarah who I was friends with from work but then she became weird with me and started becoming slow at her job. I stopped liking her. She made me do everything today and is slower than slow. I am having a panic attack and can keep up with the kids. I enjoy them I do. Not the babies dont get me fucking started. The care giving, the baba, the poop, the dipers. What the fuck. You not my baby. But Still i dont think I enjoyed being a baby. I cried so much I hated it. Knowing my true nature I know I probably coudnt stand someone else taking care of me. Who knows how emotionally avabile my mom was. She was giving me to my aunt or nanny constantly. I feel bad for my mom she never got the time to truly "find herself" or question her views. Like no one pushed hen person. I think shes special. Shes smart but she has a victim mentality. the drinking did not help that and encouraged it. She always had a woe is me. Sorry I love my mom and I know this may sound bitchy but like she always looks like a lost deer. Shes been through hell and back but never used it to help other. I am sorry I can not forgive her because taking care of kids takes me out of my shit. We all have shit we get consumed with. I was able to go to work after feeling disgusted a day after Nick broke up with me. I cried because I watched Jude run away from her mother in fear because of how she acted in class. She kicked me hit me that day it made me cry for her to be angry with me. Not that she was kicking me. She just came into this world it sucks enough why make her go through more.

[freckleslester]

i tried to play burned out by dodie but failed miserably lmao

[itsohh]

We Were Friends

A/N: Female reader, personally I hate feeling jealous especially when theres a real threat. I remember my ex purposely tried to make me feel jealous (in a bad way) which was a total dick move of him. In this situation I think Finka’s a bit ooc just cause I feel like she wouldn’t do this. Shes too caring and nice and I guess I also have a soft spot of her  as shes one of the people I play a lot. \(￣︶￣*\)) Either way woe story be upon yee. Heh I would call my style of writing: breaking so many grammar rules. It’s all for the flow babeyyy, all for the flow.

Word count:  1583

Warnings: Jealousy

AO3

Jealousy was always an ugly thing, this is something you knew. It ate away at your being, it created mistrust and paranoia. The twin sister of envy. Envy was one thing, to want what someone else had whereas jealousy was to be afraid of someone taking what you already had. Perhaps that's why they went hand in hand, different sides of the same coin. Someone's envy could create jealousy in another. Said jealousy had started to stir inside of you.

Shame. That's what came with it. After a brief period of anger and self-realisation, shame consumed your body. It hadn’t been the first time you had seen the pair of them together. After all, Lera and Alexsandr worked together. You all worked together, it was inevitable. The pair of them of course both being Spetsnaz also added to their connection, his friendship with her matter. This you knew, Alexsandr had of course boasted stories about the pair of them on the odd occasion. Such a thing wasn’t unique to her of course, he had many stories with a range of operators.

Regardless of the facts, regardless of the logical thinking in the back of your mind, jealousy ate away at you. Alexsandr was a kind man, loud, fun, faithful and loyal. He wouldn’t do such a thing, this you knew. So shame ate away at you, guilt for thinking of them in such a way. Lera was your friend, a sister in arms. She wouldn’t betray you like that, your relationship was by no means a private matter. It couldn’t be with a man like Alex. She would never do something to break your bond with him.

So as the pair of them chatted away, you stewed in your own emotions. Her hand on his shoulder, a gentle touch that your eyes laser-focused on. Yet a hand snapped you out of your stares, your body jumping at the contact. Apha. She greeted you with a smile but it changed a little when she saw the frown on your face. “Is everything alright?” She leaned a little closer after she sat down.

“Huh? Yeah.” Your eyes glanced over to them again. “Just feeling the tension of the upcoming finale I suppose.” You laughed her off, in all honestly, you cared little for the finale as your team had been knocked out far earlier.

“It's certainly going to be interesting. I hope we don’t have another situation like last year.” her voice went down to an almost whisper and you finally tore your eyes away, nodding with her. She was talking about the aftermath with Eliza and Kali.

“Yeah.” You paused and let out a breath, your emotions cared little for the altercation they had. “Look, I hate to do this to you but I uh, I’m not feeling too well.”

“Are you okay?” Her concern was obvious and you couldn’t help but wince at making her worry.

“Yeah, yeah, I just need to lie down for a bit. I promise it's nothing. Lack of sleep.” You grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze which she gave you a smile for as you left.

Behind the safety of your door, you sunk down against it, a long breath leaving your mouth. Tension ate away at your body, a rigid stiffness that had your joints ache. The scene replayed over and over in your mind despite your wishes against it. A sigh left your lips as you wiped your face with your hand. The way her fingers touched his, the smile on their faces. So at peace. “Like friends are.” The words slipped from your lips and you repeated them over and over. Fighting against yourself and your emotions wasn’t easy. You stayed there as time ticked away but that feeling still wouldn’t go away.

A grunt left your mouth as you rose to your feet, deep breaths leaving your lips. The room had started to suffocate you, your finger itchy for a distraction. With the admittedly harder-than-necessary close of your door, you found your way down the long corridor of your join dorm. The darkness outside alerted you to how long you had truly been in your room, just gathering and collecting yourself.

You eventually found yourself walking to the shooting range, a place of comfort. One that allowed you to get out any aggression, and stress. Yet as you neared, you couldn’t help but hear that familiar laugh from Alexsandr. You were about to join him when you heard another voice- her voice. A breath escaped your lips and your eyes shut for a moment. You had wanted to get away from this, but in the close distance of the pair of them, you couldn’t help but feel that feeling crawling up on your shoulders once again. It was overpowering and dizzying and you wanted to leave, flee but you couldn’t move from your frozen spot. Legs like ice you could hear them with ease through the open door, even when her voice softened. The pair of them settled down and you heard her hesitated voice.

“I know I shouldn’t but I…”

“Lera?” The signature groan of the infamous squeaky metal chair echoed in the air telling you that they had sat down.

“I’ll constantly have the what if in the back of my mind if I don’t say it before-” She cut herself off with a frustrated sigh. You held your breath as your hands went cold. Her voice was almost drowned out by the sound of your beating heart. Loud mixed in with ringing she continued.

“The way I feel about you, I shouldn’t. But I care more about you than a friend should.” Your hand slapped over your lips as sweat coated your body, she actually... Lera… Silence rang through the air as go gasped against your hand. He didn’t reply. “Alexsandr, I wish to be with you.” So soft so vulnerable in that moment as she waited for his reaction, his judgment.

A judgement she wouldn’t receive.

The slap of your hand on the door frame alerted the pair of them to your presence. Her lips parted as her eyes went wide. Leras face started to go red and she swallowed. Your name was a whisper in her mouth and she could tell right away that you had heard everything. “I…”

“I thought...” You swallowed as you pushed off the frame. You looked away for a moment as your fist clenched. “...We…” Your eyes snapped to hers as everything boiled over. That horrible jealous feeling was right, it was correct and you hated it. Hated that it was like this, hated the way that you couldn’t control it as it consumed your entire being. No longer was there any shame. Only Anger. “...Were friends.” Your voice shouted out in the room, echoing off the walls. “We were sisters in arms Lera, we fought together!” Your voice was a desperate plea as tears formed in the corners of your eyes. She flinched at the pain in your voice, one of betrayal.

“You always supported us, you, I-I can’t.” You stuttered over your words in a way that left you speechless, breathless. The entire time he had been silent. It wasn’t very often that he went silent. A grim look on his face. “How could you?” Your voice choked out.

“I never wanted to hurt you, I’ve felt like this a long time before your joined Rainbow.” She attempted damage control on your destroyed relationship. "It wasn’t supposed to be personal.”

“How could it not be personal? What did you think would happen?” Your voice was a cry and she took a step towards you, reaching for you. But you took a step back, your face distorted as you looked at her.

“I don’t know, I just… I had to know.”

“I don’t.” He finally spoke up, his eyes on you. “Feel the same, Lera.” He placed a hand on her shoulder for a moment. A small gesture of comfort but as quickly as it came, he left. With a sympathetic look on his face, Alexsandr made his way towards you. His lips pressed on your forehead for a moment and he grasped your hand in his.

Away from the shooting range did he take you, into the safety of his room. The door clicked behind the pair of you and soon his arms were wrapped around you. Into the warm comfort of his chest, he held you.

“I thought it was all just in my head.” You mumbled into him.

“What do you mean?”

“I thought I was just being period, jealous of when the pair of you two were hanging out.” His face softened as he stroked your hair, your name leaving his lips.

“You never said anything.”

“It shouldn’t have been your problem, it wasn’t fair to you to think that way.” He pulled back at the sound of your voice, stroking your face with care.

“Please tell me next time, if anything so I can assure you that I have eyes for you and only you, sweet girl.” You pressed firmer against him, consumed by his hug. The pair of you stayed like that for the rest of the night, his arms around yours, the odd kiss pressed against your skin. Lera tried to visit you, her knock on your door that you promptly ignored. She left for Nighthaven. You didn’t see her off.

[actualbird]

oversharing medical woe adventures: recent breathing problems edition (but dw im overall fine)

so basically this whole month ive been plagued with a near constant cough and occassional chest pain and it worried my mom a lot so she pushed me to get checked especially when the chest pain started happening especially since ive got a history of asthma and been smoking half a pack everyday for 5 years.

turns out: it's not actually my lungs that are the problem. it's my throat, theres an infection there thats causing a bunch of the cough. ive also developed thoracic scoliosis that goes [beyonce voice] To The Left To The Left, which i did not have in my last chest xray back in may, and that slightly pushes against the very lung where my pain usually comes from. but the pulmonary doctor i saw said it wasnt severe, so i just need to watch my posture so it doesnt get worse and cause more problems

thankfully the throat infection shld be nerfed with antibiotics, so i hope that works and im in generally better health by my next followup (if only because the sheer scheduling and errand-ing and SPENDING for medical stuff causes more pain to me than any physical pain jhavfkjashf) but, the pulmonary doctor did scold me in general

pulmo doctor: you smoke?

me: yeah...

pulmo doctor: stop that, quit smoking

me: thats a long term goal for me, yes

pulmo doc: what do you mean 'long term'??? quit NOW. youre only 23 and youve had 2 respiratory infections in the past 2 years

me: //diplomatically choosing silence and a vague affirmative mumble noise bc agh...i got a bad grade at lungs and got scolded by the doctor ;-; jHVJHAVFKDHSVFJSD

[kamil-a]

Do you recommend hnka? Your art/writing has me interested in the characters!! And did you play it or watch a playthrough? Internet is telling me there's like, a bunch of different versions of the game slkdjfslkj

okay, so first of all right now im like in my honeymoon phase w this game. i love this thing i am newly experiencing. so its going to be VERY subjective.

PROS:

-protag is an incredibly written character and one of the best takes on the "oh woe is me i am so Average" trope ive seen. we stan an unreliable narrator. shes very good!!

-the voice actors are having the time of their lives and it SHOWS!!!!! blood, elliot, and gowland in particular make their lines so funny just via delivery

-unlike a lot of childrens media BUT MESSED UP work, hnkna has so much love for its origins. it doesnt stick very much to canon at all, but lotsa cool details do make it in , and its extra stuff feels to me like a YES, AND and not I CAN DO BETTER. Idk it just feels loving to me!!

-WORLDBUILDING????? its a lot. its like the horrific end result of what if capitalism WAS just "natural" theres so much weird things to chew on

-MUSIC SLAPS

-while i absolutely would not say this game has "good lgbt rep" you do play as a bi girl who can date(1) another bi girl

(1) its galpaled but like she DOES kiss alice's foot after telling her she "swings both ways". like hello.

-extremely funny game. like the comedy is mostly very good in my opinion, ive cried laughing a lot of times the friends ive streamed it for can verify this

CONS:

-hnkna has no interest in being a comfortable or (SORRY) unproblematic experience. i dont mean this like "so toughen up", i mean this like "this game WILL romanticize sexual harassment/assault, there is a route in this game where you can date twin children, if stuff like that's a dealbreaker that's a dealbreaker(2) ".

-so okay sometimes its fun to see an evil manipulative toxic bf in his element in a story and so this can actually be a pro in a way. but you understand how a romance story romanticizing that is still bad right. so its also a con im putting this in the con section.

(2) if that IS a dealbreaker (which is perfectly fine, cause that stuff up there is pretty awful, no pretending its not) i reccommend the manga captive hearts of oz, drawn by one of the artists for this franchise! its got that loving-relationship-to-origin, cool worldbuilding feel, but much lighter on the upsetting elements

HOW TO PLAY: im on mobile rn so hard to link bc lotsa times when i leave the page tumblr eats my words BUUUUUT: search up the english fan translation of *anniversary no kuni no alice*! Its an expanded edition of the first game. Unfortunately, that is the only fully translated game, but i hear theres ways to machine translate future ones.

Have fun if you playyyyyy!!!

[shortprince-cos]

The Woes Of An Emo

Summary: Virgil wants at least one rehearsal to not go wrong. Also, he's a simp. Also, I apologize in advance.

Warnings: Angst, mental breakdown, anxiety, swearing, miscommunication. Tell me if I need to ask anything else!

Note: Happy Asides day!!!! (hopefully it is, this was written in advance) Remember to tag your spoilers for a week and to respect everyone's opinions!!!!

{Masterlist} {Previous}

Chapter 7: Typical Day?

~~~~~

By next Monday, everyone knew that Patton and Logan were dating. They kept holding hands in the hallway, walking each other to class, and even flirting in front of everyone.

Virgil was a little jealous, though he didn't want to admit it. They were just so cute doing those couple-y things, and Virgil wanted to do that with someone. Well, not just someone, Princey and/or Roman.

Right. Roman. Virgil almost forgot about his crisis for a minute. He has confirmed that yes, he does apparently have a crush on Roman. Great. The guy he just rejected. Wonderful. The guy who probably didn't want anything the do with Virgil at the moment. Perfect.

How could he not, though? Roman, who got almost every lead in the musicals. Roman, who called teachers out on their unfairness. Roman, who's eyes lit up whenever he talked about Disney or musicals. Who could fight someone for hours if he had the motivation. Who, when he flirted, could drop his voice so unbearably low it sent shivers down Virgil's spine.

And oh goodness, Princey. Princey is amazing. He talks like he'll run out of time. Types like Virgil's the most important thing in the world. He also loves Disney and musicals and talks about them like theres no tomorrow. He just cares so much about Virgil, letting him vent about his anxieties, and even tells Virgil all of his deepest secrets and insecurities.

Oh, heh, guess we've been rambling, huh?

Needless to say, Virgil was not doing that good. The amount of stress was driving him mad. Everything was just too much; waiting for Princey to be better, trying to not get overwhelmed by Patton's friendliness, trying not to make everyone mad or disappointed with him, finding out he actually does have a crush on Roman, hoping Roman isn't mad at him, being the prop master for the musical, and even just schoolwork. It was exhausting.

By next Friday his dads wanted him to stay home and take a 'mental health day', but Virgil couldn't miss rehearsal or he'd probably get kicked from the show.

Speaking of the show, Virgil was currently sweeping up the auditorium seats when he heard a familiar voice.

"Virgil!" Gabi the stage manager called. "Please clean up the prop room, the actors messed up the organization."

"Yeah, sure. I'll lock up too, if you want?"

Gabi handed Virgil the keys. "You're a lifesaver, Virge. If we were getting paid, you'd get a raise."

"It's no problem." Virgil said bashfully.

"Thank you anyway!" Gabi said as she walked out of the auditorium.

So Virgil made his way over to the prop room, and started cleaning up the fiasco that the actors left behind.

It wasn't until fifteen minutes later when his phone buzzed, alerting him of a message.

He quickly looked at his phone to find a message from Princey! Virgil hasn't heard from him for awhile, so he was getting a little worried, but apparently he was doing a little better if he was talking to him again!

princeofyourdreams: call me please

Or not?

That was...not a normal message. Virgil's anxiety immediately spiked at the thought of calling Princey.

onthevirgeofananxietyattack: princey, u know how i feel about random calls

princeofyourdreams: i know im sorry but please

Virgil hesitated. Princey sounded not ok and obviously Virgil had to do something, but the idea of calling him was a lot to handle, especially when Virgil was, as his username said, on the verge of an anxiety attack because of everything going on at the moment, and one more bad thing could probably break him.

He hit call anyway.

"P-Princey?" Virgil asked nervously.

"Hey anx." Princey was obviously crying, and Virgil's heart shattered. But...something was familiar.

"Are you ok? What's wrong?"

"Everything. Everything's wrong. It has been for so long and I tried so hard to be ok but now I'm really not ok." Princey was full on sobbing now, and Virgil didn't know what he could do to help.

"Hey, hey. It's ok, just focus on my voice ok?"

Roman just sobbed more in response, and Virgil swore he heard an echo from somewhere.

It must be his imagination.

Virgil softened his voice. "Hey, Princey, it's going to be ok, whatever's wrong right now will be ok in the end, I promise."

"How-" He choked "How can you say that when-when you don't even know what's happening."

"Just tell me and I can help." Virgil wandered out of the prop room to pace while talking.

"If I tell you, you-you won't care. I'm surprised you don't not care already." He gasped for some more air as Virgil heard something shifting in the men's dressing room.

"Princey breathe." Virgil turned to the dressing room door. "I care about you. I promise. I won't stop caring about you for something like this."

Princey took a big breath. "THEN WHY ARE YOU PLAYING ME?!" He screamed, and so did the dressing room door.

Suddenly everything was silent except for the heavy breathing over the phone and through the door.

What did that mean? Was he mad at Virgil? What did Virgil do? And, oh yeah, was Princey actually behind that door?

Well, screw anxiety, theres only one way to find out.

He knocked on the door, and heard the knock through the phone.

"P-Princey?"

"Y-Yeah?"

Virgil took a deep breath and opened the door.

"...Hey, Virgil."

~~~~~

{Next}

HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S A CLIFFHANGER! Y'all knew the angst was gonna spill out at sometime, I'm just surprised that it took this long! Sorry this one is really short, I didn't really know what to do to get to this point. So I just wrote Virgil simping for two paragraphs lol

@irritating-lady-knight I hope you liked your small cameo! Surprise!

Thanks to @thefingergunsgirl (Emma! Ily!) for beta reading this chapter! It was a big help!!!!!

Taglist in reblog

Reblogs are appreciated!💖

[eddie-rifff]

I don't know much about Peter Hammill other than the fact that he is the founder of vdgg and he is apparently a catboy???

yeah thats kind of it :)

but no he is also one of the strangest and most captivating musicians i know of.

he is VERY fucky and he is not afraid to admit it- he said in one interview that he is interested in sex "almost to the point of obsession". whilst i am primarily asexual, and perhaps because of this, i think that is very funny.

i am a pretty recent vdgg fan, as in i heard vdgg for the very first time in march and i havent even heard all of his music yet (theres another thing- he CRANKS out music constantly), but from what i do know about him (i went through a period in april and may where i was terribly depressed and all i did was watch vids and read about him) he is very intelligent and gets very obsessive about random things. he is also an absolutely brilliant lyricist. this is coming from someone who went to school to study the craft of writing so i like to think my take on that holds some value lol. his lyrics, albeit VEEERY melodramatic at times, come across as being pretty effortless. his songs that arent like "woe is me" or "i love romance and women but they scare me" are usually just very good poems with very good points.

and oh, oh my sweet anon, oh, his voice.. how could i talk about this man without talking about his voice...

he has an absolutely astounding voice but hes like.. bad at singing. if not BAD bad, then.. almost weak i guess? relative to people like rob halford who was directly, and, if you listen to them side by side, very clearly influenced by him (this is something he has said im not just jumping to conclusions) who have very very powerful voices, you can see what i mean. its fascinating to me to compare the two because rob adopted peter's "schtick" so to say, of the crazy sustained notes followed by trailing off growls and falsetto shrieks and all that, but they are so inherently different again because rob is very technically good. and yet, i prefer peter's voice because despite being weaker, technically, it's just so different and has intricacies and textures that i dont hear in other singers. if you have about 9 minutes to spare, listen to the song arrow by vdgg to get a taste of some of his nuttiest sounds

oh hell i think i am off track now. uh what was i saying lol ok anyway after his first few albums wherein his vocals are kinda just like generic 70s psychedelic rock-ish, i think he figured out that while he has a good voice he doesnt have the BEST voice and started to use his weaknesses to his advantage, thereby making his vocals insane and i love it so much. sorry if i was talking in circles i am just captivated by his noises

and thats him :)

[the-third-bard]

Story summary of "the voice of reason"

Aka the titty girl story

This one had way more parts than any other so this post will be pretty long

Part one

Part one is the one page at the very beginning of the book where the girl sneaks into Geratl's room when he's "sleeping" and rubs her titties all over his face. "The voice of reason" takes place before the striga so there really wasn't any point in having this be the Very First Page except to hook horny straight men.

Part two

Part two starts with Geralt waking up in the temple of Melitele after having implied off-screen sex w titty-girl (Iola, who's a apparently a water nymph and talented with magic and is psychic? Or smth?)

Nenneke is introduced and scolds Geralt for being reckless in the fight with the striga. They seem to have kind of a mother-son relationship. (Nenneke has apparently known Geralt since he was a child? Which would make her Old As Fuck).

Geralt visits this temple once or twice a year.

Most of this part is about introducing religion and the cult of Melitele. The temple he's in seems to be part-church part-school? Theres a lot of younger girls and even children who learn stuff here and then go on working as midwives, teachers, healers (specifically women's and children's diseases), etc.

Dandelion is mentioned, he doesn't believe in Melitele. Dandelion is explicitly called Geralt's friend.

Nenneke wants Geralt to go into some sort of trance with the help of Iola? I guess this will be explained in later parts.

Part three

I loved this part, the best part of the book so far.

Some White Rose dickheads have visited the temple just to tell Geralt to fuck off. (White Rose is basically nazis mixed with scientologists, and they hate all non-humans) (later they will become the flaming rose, i think, and thats like the white rose lvl 100, with like full on genocide and shit)

Anyway, these tools show up and want Geralt gone and insult him and Nenneke, but ofc Nenneke won't have that and verbally beats the shit out of them. One of the dudes, Tailles, challenges Geralt to a duel for his insults and Geralt mostly laughs it off.

There's not a lot of plot here, the whole chapter reads as if it was an imaginary political argument Andrzej Sapkowski was having in his head where he was winning and he decided to put it in the book. I allow this because any form of dunking on nazis is good.

Part four

This part is LITERALLY Geralt just? Going on a 4 page rant? He literally does not stop talking once during the whole thing. It's a solid wall of just Geralt talking at this poor girl (Iola, the tiddy girl, who can't talk)

He talks about, in order; religion (*), swords, kaer morhen, parents, the trials, his first monster (**). Witchering, the "code" (***), Blaviken (****), and Ciri (*****).

Throughout this whole this Geralt like, answers questions? That I'm pretty sure he makes up to keep talking? He's like "... Vesemir- oh, who's Vesemir, you ask? Well he's my dad obviously-" Cus Iola is mute and she's never described to like, look questioning or even interested in what Geralt is saying. He does this 9 times.

* Iola has taken a vow of silence for Melitele and Geralt respects her decision. He tells her there is power in faith and that his own lack of faith holds NO POWER, which I thought was really neat (especially for a 20 year old Polish book).

** it's the story he told Renfri in ep one! (saving a girl from being raped (also 13 years old :/ ) He also says he did what be did because he wanted the girl and her father to be grateful, and not because it was the right thing to do. He'd been raised to fight monsters and he'd romanticized the idea in his head that he'd be so cool and appreciated, which I think is really interesting. It also shows his growth as a character from then to now, and the fact that he admits to this is also very neat.

*** Geralt totally just made up this "code" and apparently said it so much that everyone fucking thinks all witchers have a code when it literally is just Geralt. I really wanna know what the other witchers think of this.

****

Geralt needs therapy

***** Geralt berates himself for doing the law of surprise, and says he'll never return to Cintra and will just, avoid it forever I guess. (Yennefer and Ciri are apparently born around the same time in may!)

Part five

Geralt is in the library in the temple, he appears to be failing to read a history book.

Dandelion comes in the door and Nenneke absolutely destroys him.

She leaves and Dandelion and Geralt talk.

The world is changing, and witchers' work is becoming hard to find. Geralt is being negative about it and Dandelion tries to cheer him up a bit, distract him from his woes.

He says Geralt should adapt to the new world, change careers. He says that if the demand for poetry and music dwindled he'd become a gardener.

Dandelion gets pretty deep, and it was more than it expected from Sapkowski if I'm honest.

/... /

After this Dandelion changes the subject to make Geralt feel better.

Part six

Geralt and Nanneke is in a grotto that Nenneke uses as like, a greenhouse for magical plants. There are glowing crystals in the ceiling.

(Nenneke talks a bit about how the sun has changed? And the rays are deadly and kills plants and how it's "too late" to save people from it?)

Nenneke talk about how pissed Yennefer is at Geralt for some reason, and Geralt seems to be avoiding her (Yen) at all costs.

For the striga contract money Geralt has bought some precious gems, and gives some to Nenneke for the temple and wants to give Yennerfer the rest. He wants Nenneke to keep them for him until Yennefer comes to the temple looking for him so that she can give them to her? While he's ran away to somewhere else cus he's a little baby.

Nenneke refuses to help him with it because she's way too cool for that and calls Geralt out on being a big baby.

This is where Yennefer's infertility is mentioned, and Geralt says she can use the gems to (partly) pay for "the treatment".

They talk a bit and we find out that some sorceresses have "atrophied" ovaries and that that is because pursuing magic apparently fucks up your endocrine glands? Which would fuck up significantly more than just your ovaries (also this shouldn't be a thing just for female magicians? Why are all the male magicians totally fine?)

(Nenneke is hinted to be fertile as well as Geralt's mother in picture 1)

Nenneke is still trying to get Geralt to do some telepathy therapy stuff with Iola and he's also a big baby about this, even though he's absolutely TRASHED right now and doing the therapy would heal him up so that he can use his signs and fight again.

(it seems like after a near death, witchers lose their witchering skills? Nenneke says Geralt's reflexes aren't what they're supposed to be, his pupils don't dilate properly, his heartbeat is faster than normal aka 'normal human speed' i guess, they can't do signs. Would Geralt be human if he just let it be?)

Part seven

As Geralt and Dandelion leave the temple, they run into a whole bunch of guys. It's the dudes from part 3, expecting a duel. If Geralt refuses to fight, he'll be hanged, but if he injures Tailles, he'll be punished. They want him to give Tallies the fight to raise the dude's street cred. They explicitly want Tailles to "nick" Geralt's skin.

I thought Geralt was gonna like, prick his finger and yield but what actually happened was funnier and more clever. So kudos to Sapko for this.

They start fighting and Tailles sucks, obviously. The boy puts his sword in front of himself defensively and Geralt just, smacks that thing with his own sword so that Tailles' sword cuts him in the face.

This way, Geralt's sword never touched him and he can't be punished. I thought that was real neat.

(Geralt is totally banned from Ellander now but it was worth it)

Geralt and Dandelion leave, and Will Not Tell Nenneke About This.

The part splits and we see what happened as Geralt and Dandelion were leaving the temple.

Geralt and Iola touch hands and this triggers a vision. It's a vision of death and blood and monstrous paws. Iola collapses and has a seizure.

Nanneke saw it too, and begs Geralt to stay in the temple, but because he's Geralt he obviously decides to ignore the whole thing and leaves.

This is how the book ends

[b1oodpink]

if you want to grow and change, then why do you keep posting about all your issues? it’s always the same pattern. sorry but I genuinely used to follow you bc of ur art work, but sometimes your posts are so self deprecating that it’s suffocating. your parents, hair, ED, friends, again and again. i think you’re taking my words the wrong way, but what im trying to say is that this self deprecation is so toxic for everyone, including yourself. it seems pick me-ish or “i’m going through worse!!”

i hear you. this will be my last response, to the other messages as well. 

i understand the way you view my posts as self deprecating, i understand its a bummer to read and you can unfollow if anything makes you uncomfortable, but i think alot of assumptions are being made. i really don’t have to explain myself, its just i don’t like the misunderstanding thats going on. i used to post alottt more ‘woe is me im sad’ things on tumblr. its just something ive learned to do from watching other ppl on the internet do it. ive cut down alot, and im more concious about how my posts are gonna make others feel. i know its not a coping mechanism to just shout into the void about my problems. i know theres a difference between talking about my struggles and wallowing in it. im a human being, i have alot to work on still.

but sometimes in vulnerable moments, i want to express how im feeling just through a post or two. i know i have friends to talk to and others i can reach out to, but being honest with ppl in my life is something im working on, and its not easy. 

also, i dont think you know anything about the circumstances i have around seeing my one friend on a picnic. ive gotten my covid test, its negative. im going to get tested regularly because I have to go on campus sometimes. ive been isolated and social distancing for the entirety of quarantine unless i needed to go out. and im allowed to give myself a breather safely. when we hang out, which is like, once a month, we wear masks, we’re outside, and we avoid all other people. in this pandemic, im allowed to find an ounce of joy where i can and embrace it. im allowed to do what i need to survive. you do too

lastly, when i make posts about my feelings, i am no way suggesting i have it worse. im only talking about my own personal experience, that does not encompass everyones experience, and voicing it doesn’t make me self centered or naive to anyone elses pain. to make an assumption/jump to a conclusion like that, is on you. no one on this site knows my entire life. you dont know my lowest moments, what ive had to overcome, and what i still struggle with, even if you do see the posts i make. 

the things you’re informing me about with these messages, isnt something i dont know or havent thought about. im fully aware that sometimes i can just be stuck in sadness or desperation, and i cant think positively. i also think these moments are allowed as well, for everyone. of course it can’t be the ONLY coping mechanism, and it certainly isnt for me. im aware at times that i’m doing the best I can in the moment, AND i can do alot better. i CAN be coping better. at the end of the day, im simply doing what i need to do to survive in the moment. sometimes thats just making a dumb tumblr text post to get something off my chest. other times its talking to a friend. sometimes its an unhealthy coping mechanism. most times its just staying quiet about it. 

anyways thats all 

[ishades]

truten hcs 1/?

trunks catches videls bouquet with his face at her and gohans wedding. (she sort of accidentally threw them at him on purpose) goten laughs and picks them up for him

trunks was the first to fall in love. hed liked goten since he was 8 but it was just a crush he didnt actually consciously recognize. he first realizes hes in love with goten after goten goes on his first date at thirteen and comes home broken-hearted. 

he comes out as bi to his grandma paunchy first. and she laughs and just says “oh you really do take after your mother.”

he comes out to his mother next and she tells him she figured and that it was fine. she still loved him there was no need to worry about rejection over something like sexuality in this family

he comes out to his father last. hes reassured his father won be mad at him at this point. but that fear of dissapointment hes always carried when it comes to his father persists. vegeta takes is surprisingly well

“its none of my business the nature of your attraction.” and they continue training together. after theyre done and taking a breather, vegeta pats his back and says in his gruff voice “love is what makes a person strong. loving another is the most powerful thing anyone can do. much more powerful than super saiyan 3. im proud of you.” he wont look at trunks but he can see his fathers a little red in the face, eyes misty. he doesnt try to make fun of his father for it.

just hugs him as tight as he can and vegeta makes a big stink about it grumbling at first but letting it happen. he rests an arm around his sons shoulders and they just sit like that together for a minute. 

its just like the first time his father hugged him. but different. because this time he really knows his father loves him

vegetas more than a little miffed about trunks being in love with “kakarots spawn” and insists goten “seduced my son”. he gets over it soon enough and becomes on of his sons biggest supporters only rivaled by gohan and paunchy. goku... gokus really up there too tbh

gotens really scared to come out to his mother but chichis really understanding and accepting. “i want you to be happy son. i married an alien and had two children with him. you being in love with a man is small potatoes. love is love.” much like vegeta shes kind of disappointed in his taste in men but gets over it quickly. shes known trunks since he was a baby. life goes on. she gets trunks and goten to join that years couples holiday picture 

goten works at a zoo in his teens but later becomes a nurse. if the zoo ever calls him for help hes on it though no questions asked. he loves feeding the baby raptors

also worked at a wcdonalds... can no longer eat food from wcdonalds

their first kiss is in trunks’ room. when theyre 16. theyre listening to a daft punk album while goten vents his dating woes to trunks. “she told me i kiss like a drunk walrus. its not my fault it was my first kiss” trunks asks if hed like some practice, palms sweating. 

trunks leans in, heart racing and goten doesnt pull away. instant crush plays in the background. gotens date was right: he does kiss like a drunk walrus.

“have you kissed other boys before?” goten asks when they separate, cheeks red. trunks wipes his mouth with his wrist.

“have i kissed boys before? youre kidding right? im irresistible, and dont you forget it son goten” he strikes a silly pose and all the tension evaporates in the room.

they eat dinner with trunks’ family that evening and they try not to think about the kiss. trunks does pretty well on that department until he gets back to his room after goten leaves and just holds a pillow to his face screaming. 

the two fake practices afterwards are really anything but. goten finally admits the third time that he wished they did it more often.

trunks asks him out after like a week of internal and external debate (vegeta keeps telling him to get to it). he ends up blurting it out when theyre playing video games one afternoon

they literally get married the day after goten graduates. goten argues he should get two cakes instead of one. chichi doesnt budge

theyre completely functional apart but hate being separated for long. theyre each others best friend! just being in the same room togethers bliss.

when they argue... boy. trunks yells and then clams up and gets really quiet. goten has a mix of goku and gines temperament so stuff usually... takes awhile to build up for him. 

they make up really quick.

trunks is trans bi and gotens cis bi.  

trunks springs the question on goten randomly one day. (”hey. do you wanna have a baby? with me.”) and goten really really does he wants a family with a kid.

asks trunks to let him think about it (he goes over their finances and checks out how long they could be on paternity leave for their respective jobs)

then they go see shenron. and ask for a baby of their own who takes after both of them. it takes shenron a day to magic up that baby but then theyre literally holding their own child swaddled up in their arms by the time dinners ready.

they name her son korusetto daikon vegeta-briefs (korusetto like corset and daikon like the radish. vegeta gives her that name) yes shes got liek three last names and she owns it

she has black and purple hair because shes literally a fusion of her fathers.

tfw you and your husband have to perform the fusion dance to get your daughter to stop crying for thirty minutes but vegeta can hold her and shell perk up or calm down immediately.

bras 15 when they make the wish and she launches into aunt / big sister mode immediately.

gohans best uncle hands down

they make uub and marron little daikons godparents and theyre both so excited. 

trunks and videl have lunch dates like once a month and just kind of bond. videls the older sister he never had and now that hes older shes not the gross girl dating his best friends brother. shes a cool woman with a wicked sense of humor he can vent about what a hassle it is to date a son with.

they renew their vows ten years after they get married and its mushy. they terrorize the party goers 

theres more but thats just a little bit

[missile-silo]

More headconons because I feel like it

* They adopted a cat and called it Schrödinger . He’s a Maine coon cat (they think, he was found in a box). He’s an old cat, about 10.

* They also have a little Russian blue (again they’re not sure, he was found near an airfield)cat called Yuri (after Yuri Gagarin) but they only got him a year before the show started. He’s only a year and a half old.

* Alya comes to Marinettes apartment one time and is complaining about getting a low score on her science test. Mendeliev is marking papers while banging her head on the table saying “they’re so f**king stupid” and Alya starts screaming.

* Marinette learns how to bake through Gina, so she still makes things for class gatherings.

* When she was first taken in Marinette ate a lot of pizza. Like a lot. She can’t stand it now.

* The morning routine consists of: coffee, breakfast (cereal, they go through so much), get dressed and leg it because Mendeliev forgot she had a meeting.

* Marinette finds out about Mendeliev and Bustier by walking into the apartment to see both of them chatting (flirting) in the couch. School was bare awkward.

* The above has also happened to Alya, Nino and Adrien, but Nino saw them kissing so he’s scarred.

* Mendeliev smoked. Marinette poured water on her when she did. Mendeliev no longer smokes (she has an juul instead)

* “Ms I haven’t done my homework, what should I do?” 

 “Perish”

* Marinette purposefully tells Mendeliev about trends in the hope that she’ll pull some weird crap in class. So far, she’s heard three screams from Mendeliev saying “oh wig?” to people not finishing work.

* An incredibly distraught Mendeliev asking Damocles for help to learn how to raise a kid (I feel like she’d be 27 when she got Marinette, so she would have been teaching for 6 years). Damocles doesn’t know Marinette is Mendelievs kid, but knows she has one.

* Jagged Stone being involved with Marinette in more of an uncle/godfather way after finding out about her being adopted. Offers to look after her during holidays and after school when there’s parent evening. Not over the top, but he has definitely been called into school (during school hours)when Gina couldn’t make it.

* The bro relationship Adrien and Mari have. They act like siblings because they can relate about parents being gone and the trouble with that. They get put into groups for science classes with another random person (they good at science minus biology) and the bickering would be real.

* Nino and Adrien are also like bros, but they’re like best friend bros.

* Alya and Marinette have a healthier and more positive relationship, with Marinette being blunt about relationships. Marinette helps Alya with physics and chemistry homework in return for biology homework. The dynamic duo have lots of fun together, and neither end up third wheeling because the group ends up getting pretty close.

* Alya still falls for Lilas lies at the start , but Marinette talks her into publishing the video in a sort of speculation/public opinions based column. This would save the reputations the ladyblog when all comes to show.

* When Lila comes into the class, she lies about knowing ladybug first and Maris like oh dope. Then she says about the miraculous and Maris like “ookay bit weird” but nothing comes out of the volpina episode that damages Marinette (Adrien voices concern about her not taking being rejected well, but Marinettes like “you should be able to reject who you want bro”). Mari mainly doesn’t like her because of the lies and her ignoring Adriens attempts to get away from physical contact.

* Then comes the bull crap about the bakery girl being her best friend and Maris like “lmao what no mate” and Lila puts on crocodile tears. People react with hostility, but Alya runs her mouth and says that Mari is the bakery girl. She later gets thanked for this, but admits she wasn’t thinking straight.

* Some people are hostile to Marinette after that, with Lilas tinnitus. At break time Marinette admits she didn’t manage to get any work done. This is where Marinettes head injury rears it’s head, because she has difficulty with focusing in class because of it (I do my research this is a real thing I think). She asks why Lila didn’t move to the front row replacing Nino or Adrien (or even Chloe and Sabrina). There’s a bit of owopsie and Adrien moves himself to the back (leaving Lila with marinette, much to Lilas dismay)

* Lila tried to claim that Marinette wanted to keep her away from Adrien, to which she’s like “yeah, you don’t respect his boundaries despite his clear dislike for you touching him”. There’s a whole woe is me part, but then Alya and Nino step in like “tf dudette, thought you weren’t interested”. Then Lila cries to her mum and...

* They are “revealed” when Lilas mum demands to see Marinettes mother (to talk about how horrible she is and why she shouldn’t “bully” her kid) and despite the school offering multiple times to call Gina she refuses saying “I’m lilas mum, I should talk to Marinettes mum” and Mendeliev just sort of says “oh yeah let me get her” and she spins around and is like“hi you wanted to see me?”

* There’s a big oh feck.jpg moment in the class, but it explains a lot about Mari (why she despised Lila for using her parents death for fame, why she was so big about Adrien being able to choose if people touch him or not. Ms Mendeliev raised her that way)

* People are surprised that she doesn’t get favouritism from Mendeliev, but they both explain that they hate that (miss bustier is making notes)

*Sabine and Tom were once Ladybug and Chat Noir (for like a week) and Gina sees ladybug and chat acting like bros and is just like :,) cod they act like Sabine and Tom but less romantic and more familial.

* Marinette and Kagami just... end up together. Only Nino knows why. It does involve a can of squirt cream, a kitchen knife, three packs of blu tac and a whoopee cushion.

* The group happily integrating other people (Aurore, Mirelle and Marc) because the power of a found family is just THAT strong.

* Weredad doesn’t happen (obviously. Unless I wanted to douse this with ridiculous amounts of angst in which I would have Toms ladybug ghost being akumatised because he missed so much in his babies life)

* Marinette isn’t obsessed with Adrien, so she just has obscure sci-fi references on her walls like from “The cone heads”

* Mendeliev used to have a mild heart attack whenever she saw Marinette trip or fall down the stairs, but now it’s like “oh ya....there she goes”.

* One of the office women (receptionist?) taught Mendeliev little tips and tricks about raising the gal. Ended up being one of those people you call auntie but really isn’t related to you. (Her name’s Linda and she knows everyone’s name)

* Marinette found some heelies in a charity shop when she was about 6, and just sort of clings to Mendelievs jacket when she walks because that woman is fecking tall.Whenever she outgrows them, someone from her extended family gets her a pair. This carried on for years. Almost gave Chloe an aneurism when she first saw them do it on a school trip.

* The group all does it now. Sometimes Alix tags along, but grips onto Kim instead.

* Someone (Rose) asks Marinette whether she has an adoptive Dad and she’s like “no but I might get another Mum if she ever learns how to flirt” and Ms Mendeliev is embarrassed but Bustier is deciding if she’d want a daughter

* Post “reveal” Lila runs to the media and now the class has a daily game of finding out who are Marinettes illegitimate parents that week

* “Who am I related to this week?”

“You’re Jagged stones and... Adriens’ Mums kid now.”

“Damn, I always thought I’d be Jagged’s and Audrey bourgeois’ kid”

* Someone gets akumatised because they think they were a bad parent.

* It’s probably Astruc.

* One of Marinettes favourite childhood toys is a furby but Mendeliev is terrified of them so if Mari gets annoyed at her she just whips out the furby

* Marinette tried to be all cool about her Ma but she does say the occasional cursed thing like “She sleeps in her lab coat. What you don’t know that scientists shed their coat once a year? Wack”

* The phone conversations that consist of other cursed things:

“No you can’t eat cheesecake. Why?! It literally has cheese in the title. YOU’RE ALLERGIC TO MILK! Why did you do that? Yes I’ll tell school to get a supply in, just try not to puke on your phone. Please don’t do this every time you have a meeting you don’t want to go to. ”

* Marinette has a lot of extended family past her own, but doesn’t get to see them often cos Mendelievs family all live in Eastern Europe.

* Max gets Marinette to help with Markov (working out how to get him to hover idk I haven’t seen the episode)

* Buffinette is real. But not from fighting or weights. It’s from dragging Mendelievs’ student’s books up four flights of stairs to get to the apartment.

*Theres no balcony scenes because having a balcony increases rent and Paris is already expensive.

* Marinette has heterochromia (an eye for each parent) because I’ve been playing overwatch and I like Moira’s design. She’s definitely more obviously half Chinese, and her hair is more a warm black (incorporating Toms hair a bit). What, this is my Au I’ll design Marinette how I want to.

* Although realistically Marinette should have green eyes after Tom because that’s how google says alleles work but idk. God maybe powerful but I’m a tired Brit who’s results day is far too close.

* Ladybugs outfit is more than just spandex. It’s modelled after Chinese martial arts and roman gladiators (the armour).

* Marinette tends to struggle to empathise with people but is compassionate. If someone cries infront of her she’ll comfort them but won’t really get why until it’s explained.